Your Odds of Finding Happiness

 

It is easy to fall in love. But it's a lot harder to stay in love. 

We all want love to work. No one plans to fall out of love. But it happens. And when it happens, it hurts.

It seemed so easy to love the other person, didn't it? Your lover's  faults seemed "cute." So what if he didn't always express how he felt - it showed what a deep thinker he was. So what if she kept you waiting for an hour while she dressed - it showed she really cared about how she looked. Remember how proud you were to be seen with your partner, and how eager you were to tell everyone about him? No, you could never get tired of this person.

Love is probably the greatest high you can experience with another human being. The sense of separation between yourself and the other person dissolves, and what you experience is beyond pleasure, beyond closeness. it is the experience of oneness. Suddenly the universe makes sense.

But there is another side of the dream: the rejection of reaching out of that person; the frustration of being too busy to find time to spend with each other; the fear of not knowing what's going on inside the other person; the pain of the shutting down and the turning off; the lying, the letting down. the leaving.

What happened to that magic? When did "cute" characteristics suddenly become irritating? How did excitement and attraction turn into boredom and disinterest? Why did trust and respect turn into hurt and resentment?

Why do we fall out of LOVE?

Secret:
If you never learn how to use love constructively, then love ends up using you!
 

When you don't know how to use love consciously to create the results you want, you end up making the same mistakes over and over again.

Imagine sitting down to operate a computer for the first time, when no one has taught you how to use one. After a while, you would probably be frustrated, because the computer wouldn't do what you wanted it to do. So you might say, "this computer is defective - bring me another. No one ever told you it would be difficult to operate a computer, so naturally you assume it must be the computer's fault. You try the second computer, but it doesn't do what you want to, either. So you go on to a third, and a fourth. After a while, you either conclude that computers are no good, or that you are no good at working with computers. Both conclusions are wrong. The real problem is that you don't know how to use computers constructively.

You can master relationships the same way you would try to master a computer, perfect your game of tennis, or develop any skill. The first thing you should remember is:

Until you are aware of what you have been doing, you have no choice but to continue doing it.

Love