The Seven E's of Love

Hi, allow me to share to you what I've think are the positive effects of being in a truly healthy relationship, of really being in love. Let's call theme the Seven E's.

The Seven E's

1. Energy . . .  Truly being in love will energize you physically, mentally, and emotionally.

2. Enthusiasm . . . A healthy relationship creates a healthy and enthusiastic attitude toward life.

3. Excitement and optimism for the future . . . When you are happy and in love today, you look forward to tomorrow with excitement.

4. Esteem and self-confidence . . . A good relationship will support you in feeling high self-esteem.

5. Emotional Generosity . . . When you feel loved, it is easy to share that fullness of heart with those around you, and to become very loving and giving.

6. Ease in being oneself . . . When a relationship is supportive, you will find it easy to be yourself around your partner, your friends, and in all circumstances.

7. Emotional Relaxation . . . When you feel well loved, your whole being relaxes, filling you with a deep sense of peace of heart and mind. 

Base on my experience, the Seven E's will develope overtime in a truly healthy and growing relationship. Yet love thrives only under certain conditions. I've learned that, in order to stay in love, you must consciously create those conditions necessary for love to grow. Then you will naturally behave in ways to stay in love.

Now tell me, are you in love?

Love

Treating the Symptoms and Ignoring the Disease?

Many couples had been together for seven or more long years, wherein the first few years were exciting, loving, and full of growth. Then their relationship seemed to stagnate. They become bored with each other and accumulated deep feelings of resentment and anger. They both felt the other person had let them down, because they weren't fulfilled.

Yet some couples decided that their relationship is/was worth saving, so they'll went on a campaign to fix it. They may bought every book they could find on making love work and tried everything the books recommended. Some may even tried taking separate vacations, and more even tried starting a hobbies together. Much even worst is, some tried having affairs with other partners. Yet, nothing worked, and they ended up right back where they had started, only a lot more frustrated. You may say, "we must have a dead relationship," "we love each other, but we're not in love anymore."

A lot of book about relationships will tell you that in order to stay in love you should practice certain activities or behaviors the book tells you. All these actions are possible effects of being in love. But love is more than giving the appearance of love. What the books tells you then, is creating the symptoms of being in love. You weren't feeling the real thing - they / you were acting as if they / you were feeling it. That is why all the efforts failed. 

 I Hope that You will not experience what this song is telling you...

the big question is:
Are You Treating the Symptoms and Ignoring the Disease in Your Relationship?

Love

Your Odds of Finding Happiness

 

It is easy to fall in love. But it's a lot harder to stay in love. 

We all want love to work. No one plans to fall out of love. But it happens. And when it happens, it hurts.

It seemed so easy to love the other person, didn't it? Your lover's  faults seemed "cute." So what if he didn't always express how he felt - it showed what a deep thinker he was. So what if she kept you waiting for an hour while she dressed - it showed she really cared about how she looked. Remember how proud you were to be seen with your partner, and how eager you were to tell everyone about him? No, you could never get tired of this person.

Love is probably the greatest high you can experience with another human being. The sense of separation between yourself and the other person dissolves, and what you experience is beyond pleasure, beyond closeness. it is the experience of oneness. Suddenly the universe makes sense.

But there is another side of the dream: the rejection of reaching out of that person; the frustration of being too busy to find time to spend with each other; the fear of not knowing what's going on inside the other person; the pain of the shutting down and the turning off; the lying, the letting down. the leaving.

What happened to that magic? When did "cute" characteristics suddenly become irritating? How did excitement and attraction turn into boredom and disinterest? Why did trust and respect turn into hurt and resentment?

Why do we fall out of LOVE?

Secret:
If you never learn how to use love constructively, then love ends up using you!
 

When you don't know how to use love consciously to create the results you want, you end up making the same mistakes over and over again.

Imagine sitting down to operate a computer for the first time, when no one has taught you how to use one. After a while, you would probably be frustrated, because the computer wouldn't do what you wanted it to do. So you might say, "this computer is defective - bring me another. No one ever told you it would be difficult to operate a computer, so naturally you assume it must be the computer's fault. You try the second computer, but it doesn't do what you want to, either. So you go on to a third, and a fourth. After a while, you either conclude that computers are no good, or that you are no good at working with computers. Both conclusions are wrong. The real problem is that you don't know how to use computers constructively.

You can master relationships the same way you would try to master a computer, perfect your game of tennis, or develop any skill. The first thing you should remember is:

Until you are aware of what you have been doing, you have no choice but to continue doing it.

Love